I am the very model of a modern Christian President,
\nMy sanctified advisers are both transient and resident,
\nI know our planet’s history in milestones theological,
\nFrom Genesis to Malachi (but nothing geological).<\/p>\n
I’m very well acquainted too with matters exegetical, ******<\/p>\n Pat Robertson’s advice for me has never failed to fascinate — For drilling in the Holy Land, I’ve always had a softer side, ******<\/p>\n When I can tell you what is meant by adenine or cytosine, When I know any factor that gives rise to tropical cyclones, I am the very model of a modern Christian President, My sanctified advisers are both transient and resident, I know our planet’s history in milestones theological, From Genesis to Malachi (but nothing geological). I’m very well acquainted too with matters exegetical, I parse the scientific into holy and heretical, In embryonic stem cells, I see… Continue reading And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a Christian president!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.somesnarksareboojums.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nI parse the scientific into holy and heretical,
\nIn embryonic stem cells, I see Satan’s plan to capture us,
\nBut space-based X-ray lasers make me positively rapturous!
\n
\nBut space-based X-ray lasers make him positively rapturous,
\nBut space-based X-ray lasers make him positively rapturous,
\nBut space-based X-ray lasers make him positively raptu- rapturous!
\n<\/em>
\nI will not rest until our era cuts off at the Holocene,
\nAnd all our high school students have Intelligent Designer genes.
\nIn short, with pious counselors both transient and resident,
\nI am the very model of a modern Christian president!<\/p>\n
\nEspecially which foreign leader we should now assassinate.
\nTo pick Supreme Court justices, I never have to wait and see —
\nPat puckers up his eyes and asks the Lord to make a vacancy!<\/p>\n
\nDon’t tell me of the Hubbert Peak — it’s Providence that will provide.
\nMy daddy and his daddy knew their bidness King Faroukh-ular,
\nBut never bring it up with me, because I might go nucular!
\n
\nBut never bring it up with him, because he might go nucular,
\nBut never bring it up with him, because he might go nucular,
\nBut never bring it up with him, because he might go nucu- nucular!
\n<\/em>
\nI don’t believe in global warming; Kyoto is anathema.
\nI haven’t put the weather in my plans — and neither has FEMA,
\nBut still, with pious counselors both transient and resident,
\nI am the very model of a modern Christian president!<\/p>\n
\nWhen I can tell by sight a PCR tank from a bread machine,
\nWhen I’ve acquired the rudiments of epidemiology,
\nAnd list the latex virtues with no hint of an apology,<\/p>\n
\nWhen I know more of physics than our mascot did at Skull and Bones,
\nWhen I have mastered any part of of basic science policy,
\nYou’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all at sea!
\n
\nWe’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all at sea,
\nWe’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all at sea,
\nWe’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all-at-all-at-sea!
\n<\/em>
\nFor, although in sacred matters I’m a walking, talking Pentium,
\nIn science I have only reached the early first millennium.
\nBut still, with pious counselors both transient and resident,
\nI am the very model of a modern Christian president! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"